sexual healing

"you should have to touch her mind and her heart first, before you ever touch her body"

amazing

getting antsy

i've started counting down the days until i'm outta here. valentine's day is going to be my last day of work and then i'm headed to utah the following day. cassie and chris have so graciously agreed to let me stay with them in salt lake for a day or two until my flight to kentucky. i just wanna be there already! i'm so excited to get to spend a couple months with my family, and i'm even more excited to start my mission papers! so many exciting things are on their way to me! let's go ahead and fast forward to summer :)

17 days til i go home

50 days til my birthday

97 days til my best friends wedding

skype dates with my boys

for some reason i haven't been able to sleep much lately. i'm thinking it's a mix of stress (about what i don't know), excitement (going home in three weeks, going on a mission!), and lack of routine (all i do is work and watch one tree hill). lucky for me, weston and david don't ever sleep either. which means skype lovin' for meeee.

weston makes fun of me a lot

david and kendrew introduced me to fiona (david's freaky snake that he's too into)

now, i'm off to take advantage of my heavy eyes and excessive yawning. goodnight!

the thing about music

once i met a boy late at night in a restaurant. after casual introductions and a little witty banter, we landed on the subject favorite bands. we agreed to disagree on the definition of "good music" after he told me, get this, lyrics don't matter. i beg to differ. the music behind the song is important. the way the melodies, harmonies, the voices and the instruments blend together to form a symphony of sound that resonates within you, that makes you feel so alive -- that all matters. but the lyrics do too.

the lyrics to my favorite songs are the words i'm afraid to say. that's why music is so relatable. lyricists find the words when we can't. feelings of sadness, anger, heartbreak, bitterness, hurt, loneliness, but also love, determination, empowerment, giddiness, strength, and youthfulness can all be captured in one line, verse, or chorus of a song. lyrics are for everybody. they don't always mean what the artist intended when they were written. there's always room for interpretation. words have rhythm and words have melody. they're raw, naked, soulful, they're everything.

"satisfied by your seduction like a handshake would do the job. never no how long i have waited, anticipated your smile to be pressed against mine."

whoever said lyrics don't matter is a fool. the lyrics are everything. thank you and goodnight.

my decision

i gave it a lot of thought in high school. i knew it was what i wanted to do. i worked to prepare myself for when the time would come. but then, for awhile, i lost sight of my dream, and focused my attention on other things, people, and aspects of my life. but then, a few months ago, i had this experience and i knew it wasn't too late.

i have decided to serve a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and i am beyond thrilled. i found a girl to buy my second block contract, i'm moving home next month, and will start my papers then. i've never been more sure of something in my whoooole almost 21 years of life. i know that this is what i need to be doing in my life right now and i can't wait to see what the next 18 months has in store for me.

sister munden

has a nice little ring to it, dontcha think?

in numbers

60

the number of days until my 21st birthday

41.16

the number of hours i worked last week

112

the number of one tree hill episodes i've watched since christmas

475

the number of dollars i've spent on speeding/parking tickets in the last year

3

the number of close friends i have getting married or having babies in 2012

7

the number of times i've smiled thinking about my hot date tonight

life lesson #62

life is too short to be anything but happy. the hard part is figuring out what happiness is. i would venture to say that happiness comes in many forms. in the company of good family and friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else's burden lighter, or in a promise of hope renewed. i think it's okay to let yourself be happy, because you never know how great that happiness might be. sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of our lives, that we expect it to always be there. sometimes it's hard to remember a time that it wasn't there. but then one day you feel something else. something that feels wrong only because it's so unfamiliar. and in that moment you realize you're happy.

life lesson #41

people can change. but they don't. because... it's easier not to. it's easier to slip into old ways, to fade away into the life you've always lived. it's easier to hold grudges, to accept pattern, and to remain static. it's easy to form goals, to tell yourself, "tomorrow i'll do this" or "tomorrow i'll be that." the hard part is following through. the hard part is making the change you hope for. the change people (even yourself) know you can make.

they say it takes 21 days to form a habit. 21 days to start something new. it takes a great amount of strength and determination to leave who you were, and become better. nobody said it'd be easy. but they did say it'd be worth it. the difference between you and me is this: i believe them. if you always do what you always did, you'll have what you always had. and you'll always be what you always were. you can't expect different results from the same actions. but all it takes is one.

reach out.

do something every day that you're afraid of.

smile at a stranger.

pray to your father.

ask for help.

take your own advice.

and one day you won't be hoping for something unattainable. you'll have it. and you'll love it. don't be afraid to live. after all, life is about taking risks.

my second family

i suck a thousand sucks

uh so i just realized i haven't done the monthly "currently" post that the ever wonderful chelsie started. oopsies. here it is, 8 whole days late. forgive me...

current thank you: to the man who gave me a stamp at the post office so i could mail my sister's birthday card
current color: white
current playlist: mac miller
current read: nothing! i need book recommendations!
current drink: peppermint hot chocolate from mcdonalds
current food: wheat thins/triscuits + cream cheese + pepperoni... omg it's magic
current favorite show: ONE TREE HILL. why didn't i watch this until now? i'm obsessed.
current wishlist: hair color, a fancy new day organizer
current needs: money
current triumphs: being friendly with my new roommates
current bane of my existence: being 4 hours away from my favorite people
current celebrity crush: chad michael murray (apparently i'm back in middle school)
current indulgence: netflix
current blessing: our ward's new bishopric
current outfit: black leggings and a pbr tshirt
current excitement: going to the temple with juelaine on wednesday
current mood: sleepy, frustrated, bored
current link: my best friend's marriage proposal

today i believe...

...that how you wake up determines your mood for the rest of the morning

...that just because you're lonely, doesn't mean you're alone

...that letter writing is an art that should never be lost

...that nothing makes a girl feel prettier than curled hair and thick eyelashes

...that change is a chance for hope, experience, and growth

...that music will forever connect people to people

...and that life goes on

(photo cred: madison montgomery)

okay people

a) i have decided the only real reason i want an iphone is for instagram and screen shot abilities

b) i need new books to read, so please send me some recommendations if you would

c) i seriously love more than anything that i'm not in school right now

d) my baby sister turned 17 yesterday

e) my girl calaigh's baby shower is tonight!

jessie and i went to my cousin ben's jr. jazz basketball game the other night. they lost (badly) but it was still fun. ben scored a 3!

my best friend on the entire planet got engaged today! she even asked me to be a bridesmaid and everything. i think i just might be more excited than she is for may 5th. and yesterday i went with jessie to do something a little bit rebellious, but i won't tell you what.

and last night i watched hours of one tree hill in ben's soccer sweatshirt like it was normal. i'm going to vegas tonight to pick up amalia and say hi to my grandma. then it's back to the grind tomorrow. ew.

so this is what it's like

thank you for showing me what love is