new city, country, continent, hemisphere

soo the day that i've been waiting for forever has finally come. the journey here was pretty rough, to be perfectly honest. before last night, i hadn't slept since tuesday, because of my certain travel circumstances. it was awful. we left salt lake at 6:05 in the morning and didn't get to ecuador until 10:25 at night. are you aware how long that is? its so long. but along the way i got to know the other volunteers; both the girls going to cuenca and the girls going to quito. i'm sad cause a lot of the girls that i met that i really liked are in the other city now.

however, after five flights, 29.5 hours in an airport, a stressful experience through immigration and customs, and $4500, i am finally here in quito. and i absolutely love it. there were 13 of us that stayed at the house last night. 5 went in one van, 5 went in the other, and three took a taxi with athena (the assistant to the project director).

so this is the house i'm staying at. it doesn't look that nice on the outside, but it's quite lovely to be honest. it's SO BIG. a lot of the buildings here are more vertical than they are horizontal cause like 2 million people live in quito so they don't have a lot of space for everything, except for up! upstairs where i am there are 6 rooms i think? and three bathrooms. and a big area near the top of the stairs with a big mirror where we all do our hair. i'll try to take more pictures of the house without being creepy and awkward.

here is mine and ariel's room (you can't see her side). two of our walls are windows. it's soooo cool. i absolutely love our view. it's stunning. and in that first picture of my room, above my bed it says "the purpose of life is to be happy" in magazine letters :)

apparently in ecuador on new year's eve, they have this weird tradition where men dance in the streets dressed up as women and ask for money. it's pretty disturbing actually. but mildly entertaining. when we were walking back home they were like, "HELLLOOOO MY FRIENDSSSS!" across the street to us.

absolutely everyone stares at us because we're a group of 11 attractive female americans. it gets annoying. also, all the people here are so tiny! i feel gargantuan next to them and i'm only 5'8"

look at these funny little things i saw!

oh look, a kfc in ecuador. they say it's really good actually.

apparently this is a department store ish thing that we can shop

and the last thing we saw on our walk was a literal garage band. and they were actually pretty good.

it's only day 1 in ecuador, but i absolutely love it. tonight for new year's we're going out to eat and to some dance/festival/party thing? idk, but i hear ecuadorians do holidays pretty big. i can't wait. adios 2010, holaaaa 2011 :)

days til ecuador: 0

today was my last day in kansas. so, yesterday i tried to see as many people as i could before i left. i failed majorly and only got to see brian and brent. however, i did see andrew, michael & sophie the day before, and shawn this morning. so that worked out, i guess. it's not like i wont be back in three months or anything.

and so this afternoon i began my journey to my new home for the next three months. i left my house at approximately 3:07 (seven minutes after my mom wished we had left) and we headed to kci. i checked my bags in at skycap (one bag was 3 pounds over the weight limit and the guy didnt even charge us extra like he was supposed to!), bought some reading material (us weekly, in style, and peoples magazines), and got through security (even with the new tsa machines).

i left kansas city at 5 and got to denver an hour and a half later. my flight was delayed like 45 minutes so i had time to get dinner (nasty mcdonalds) and sit for a little bit before i had to get on my next plane. while i was waiting a family of 6 (with 4 little girls) sat in the seats directly across from me. they had a baby, dressed in a pink onesie who happened to fall asleep on a ladybug pillow, with her thumb in her mouth. i wanted to steal her, if that's not creepy and weird, which it probably is.

i arrived in the land of utes, snow, and mormons at 930ish? and i've been here ever since. i'm bored out of mind. so far i've talked to ethan, talked to betsy, got a smartecarte thing for my absurd quantity of luggage, bought halls coughdrops, dayquil, and smart water, called tmobile to try to fix my phone, and am currently blogging and listening to friendly fire, which shawn burned me for christmas. its completely excellent.

however, i'm exhausted. totally and absolutely. i didn't get much sleep last night (which was a dumb decision) and have to be up until 4 when i meet my group to check-in. can i please tell you about my itinerary for tomorrow? here we go.

i leave slc at 605pm and go to dallas

from dallas i go to miami

i leave miami and arrive in quito at 1025pm

i'm sorry if i dont enjoy spending 16 hours traveling in one day. i also don't enjoy doing that on no sleep and being sick. i have a feeling that tomorrow will be a very verrrry unpleasant day. but i absolutely cannot wait. because the fact that this time tomorrow, i will be in ecuador, excites the hell out of me.

first of all...

...i hate being sick. i hate it with all that i am. it's the worst thing in the world. i don't get sick that often. but when i do, it's bad. yesterday i had to get shots. typhoid and flu, and i had to get my second gardisil shot (though that's not for ecuador). my left arm is killlllllling me. like i feel like i'd be in less pain if i got it chopped off.

butttt i got to talk to my girl madi on skype, and it made my whole day. she's in germany right now visiting her sister and brother-in-law and it's just not fair.

can we please maybe ignore my retarded face? in my defense, i was obviously laughing. and i obviously wasn't aware this picture was being taken. but i love me some madi. she's the only good thing that came out of my first awful semester at byui.

aaand last night i went to dinner and a movie with sophie. we ate at wai wai, which is owned by the same people who own the thai place in westport that i am absolutely in love with. i got pad thai (duh) and then we saw true grit at the palazzo.

soo fantastic. i love the coen brothers. most of their movies are rated R but this one was PG13 and i'm so very glad it was. hailee steinfeld who plays the little 14 yearold girl in this movie was amazing. it was her first movie and she did an incredible job. i definitely recommend it.

today i'm just packing and cleaning and being sick. i'm mad cause all my plans got ruined. ethan was gonna come up from springfield to see me, i was supposed to have lunch with dustin, and then brian was gonna take me out tonight cause i haven't seen him since april. but my stupid sicky self has ruined my day.

however, tomorrow i leave for salt lake.

and then thursday...

i'll be in ecuador :)

happy christmastime

usually, i absolutely positively am completely excited about christmas for the entire month of december. usually, i'm listening to/singing christmas songs starting the day after thanksgiving. usually, i'm just as giddy about the holiday as i was when i was 5. but since i've been at school, it's so hard to get into the christmas spirit. idk if it's the stress of finals and packing, or the fact that i just don't have time to think about christmas, but it's pretty unfortunate.

yet, thanks to the massive tree in my living room, stockings hanging on the fireplace, the smell of christmas yankee candles and christmas cd's played on random throughout my house, i managed to finally be in the mood for christmas.

since my mom and stepdad tom got married 8 and a half years ago, christmas has been different at my house. we swapped old traditions for new ones, and now we start the festivities on christmas eve at my stepdad's parents' house. the whole family is there. and by whole family i mean my stepdad's 3 brothers (mark, dan, and paul), 1 sister (patty), their spouses (danielle, debbie, tamara, and allen), and their children (and grandchildren), amounting the 28 people we had there this year. that's a lot of people.

we start with dinner (honey baked turkey, ribs, mashed potatoes, homemade bread, yorkshire pudding, broccoli & cheese casserole, green beans, and pie) and then move onto gifts. now, my mom's a lawyer. and tom's brother dan is a police officer. so a couple times in the past, their paths of crossed in the workplace. also, tom's entire family is big into hunting. like borderline obsessed. and their gifts to eachother are always a big deal. let me try to explain...

one year dan got my mom an orange hat and camo sweatpants with a hunting instructional video. one year my mom got dan a set of drinks that tasted like thanksgiving dinner. i can't remember many of the other gifts, and it probably doesn't sound that amusing to anybody else, but it really is an ongoing joke in our family and everybody always looks forward to what dan and my mom get eachother.

so this year, my mom, being the creative devil she is, got him a camo snuggie. and made all the pictures on the box of him and other family members from christmases past. soo funny. it was the hit of the night, as it always is.

say hello to little lilah (patty's daughter jenny's daughter) and the baby she got, along with her matching pajamas. adorable right? jenny's kids are the cutest kids on the planet.

hadley and i got matching hat/scarf/mitten sets from mark and danielle. pretty fantastic. they make me wanna go caroling. lalala la la lala :)

i was woken up at about 830 on christmas morning by my sister running through the house yelling "saaaaanta! santa! saaaantaaaa!" ...she'll be 16 in two weeks, so i'm not sure why she's still screaming about that guy, but it's whatever. when i was like 13 or 14 i would sit in front of the tv for hours watching the magic bullet infomercials. i dreamed about the day when i would get the deluxe 25 piece set including the bonus 10-second recipe book. and that day, was yesterday. i got my magic bullet. along with lots of other fantastic things.

and today i went to my home ward for the first time since april. i thoroughly enjoyed it. aaaand in just 4 short days i'll be on my to ecuador. and i can't wait to get out of this place, to be perfectly honest. 9 days is too long to be home. i hate that i feel that way. but it's whatever.

merry christmas, all :)

back to where i belong

since i've been home, i've...

played zombies with marcel, matt and cody

had lunch with marcel at phoenix

worked a party at sagc with tony

driven around olathe with tyler

had lunch with adrianna at phoenix

gotten my nails done

gotten my eyebrows waxed

finished everything for my internship

spent the evening in harrisonville with betsy

seen the boy i like

&

continued to countdown the days til ecuador (seven)

oh and hey, remember that time southwest lost my luggage and didn't get it delivered to my house until 26 hours after my plane landed?

hey me too

it was awesome

...not

gotta love being home

in case anybody was wondering...

...im home :)

"here's my heart, o take and seal it"

well, the semester is oooooover! finally. i've been looking forward to this since about september 6th. no big deal. but i'd like to apologize for my lack of blog love lately. finals have been kicking my butt. however, i'd like to address some very exciting things...

i am officially done with school for the next 9 months. and i couldn't be happier. also, i'm just really excited about the fact that i went into my natural disasters final with a 78% in the class, got a 67% on the final, and ended with an 80%. how does that happen, you ask? i honestly don't know. but i'm thrilled about it, to say the least.

on friday morning, we had the dedication of the i-center and the re-dedication of the manwaring center. president eyring, elder bednar, elder nelson, and a member of the seventy were all there. it was incredible. i've met elder bednar (and shook his hand) twice, and he's my absolute favorite. also i really enjoy president eyring. i don't think i've ever been in the same room as so many general authorities. i really enjoyed it. the spirit when they walked into the room, was incredible. i was singing in the choir, so i was literally only like 20 feet from them.

elder bednar spoke first. i think the first thing he said was "brothers and sisters... it's good to be home" and started to tear up. call me a baby, but i bawled. his talk was incredible. then elder nelson spoke. and then we sang "come thou fount" which is one of my very favorites. every second that i wasn't singing, i was crying. i felt super lame. but not really. because i'm a crybaby. and it was a pretty fantastic occasion. i'm so happy i got to be a part of that. elder bednar's wife kept turning around to look at us and once she smiled at me and then i cried harder. no big.

then president eyring got up to speak and then offer the dedicatory prayer. seriously the coolest thing ever. on their way out they waved at us. and then at everyone in the auditorium. and we all waved back. it was seriously so cool. i wish i could think of a better word to describe it, but it was just... awesome.

and lately, everything is making me want to stay at byui. i thought i had decided to transfer to kstate, but now i'm not so sure. i'm hoping that maybe ecuador will open my eyes and help me figure out what is best for me. but i know that if i do decide to leave, i'll really miss it.

i'll miss the spirit of ricks that you can truly feel all over campus. i'll miss teachers (bro. riggins) that know me by name, invite me to their house for waffles, hug me instead of shake my hand, and tell me they love me. i'll miss starting every class with a prayer to invite the spirit. i'll miss weekly devotionals. i'll miss not feeling pressured to drink or party or do things i know i shouldn't. i'll miss having classmates and friends that hold the priesthood. i'll miss it all. i really will. because to be perfectly honest, i honestly love byui. i may not be a big fan of the depressing crappy weather in rexburg for a good portion of the year. but i am a big fan of byui.

basically i'm just trying to say, that despite all the stress, finals and packing, i had a pretty fantastic last week of the semester. i'm happy to be gone for the next 9 months, but i love my school. and "come thou fount." and president eyring. and elder bednar. and the new i-center. and getting B's in classes that i never attended. and and and i just really love my life.

oh, p.s.

11 days til ecuador

handel's messiah

so this semester i was in the university choir, mostly because i'm completely terrified of auditions. you see, i was in varsity choir all through high school, and the only person i can successfully audition in front of is my high school choir director. so, since i'm a baby, i joined the non-audition mixed choir.

anyways, sunday night was the annual messiah performance, which included;

university orchestra

university band

university choir

collegiate singers

women's choir

men's choir

women's glee

it was about 750 singers and musicians and the hart auditorium was fulllllll.

to be perfectly honest, i wasn't especially looking forward to this. like at all. but after we successfully pulled it off and received a standing ovation from said enormous audience, i was sad it was over. the spirit in the room was just... cool.

and im starting to realize...

...that i just might miss it here

the end is near

i can't believe that the semester's almost over

but that's beside the point

(not really, but for now)

i got my hair highlighted this week

i feel like i look like my sister

ohhhhh wellllll

and frankly, i like my hair better dark

but it's harder to keep up with

and it's more expensive

and i currently have a sad amount of money to my name

but it'll do... for now

please excuse my retarded faces

and my phone's color is weird

but it's whatevs

also, i'm stressed to the max

and i probably need to get back to my homework

i just feel like you should know

that i took a 19 hour nap last night

i'll be in utah a week from now

i'll be in ecuador in 19 days

and this is my last weekend in rexburg forever

happy saturday

you'll laugh so hard you'll pee

omg this is excellent

like... i really enjoy this

also, i beg of you

pleeeease watch this video

you'll laugh so hard you'll pee

i promise

its fantastic

that's all

my life is beyond lame now that its almost finals time

however...

ive decided that portuguese?

is the sexiest language

toooo dooooo

find/pack/mail boxes home

call kstate

meet with internship people

do laundry

get hair colored

write kyle & nick

spanish make-up work

scripture study portfolio

spanish project

corrections on argumentative paper

find a ride to slc

natural disasters quiz 22

make slides for presentation

personal achievement parts 4, 5 & 6

buy plates for english

revise paper

family history lab

mock trial for madi

date with ryan

and that's just this week

the several days before the end of the semester

stress me out big time

thank heavens for

hot chocolate,

mae,

cosmo,

and thick socks

to keep me happy

p.s. this is probably silly, but i completely loathe the new facebook

only 13 days til i see these people :)

iCrush

can we please talk for a second about my unhealthy crushing?

michael phelps: im sorry that athletes have ridiculously nice bodies, but ive been in love with michael phelps from the second he jumped in the pool. im also willing to overlook his minor issue with weed

ryan gosling: he makes me jealous of rachel mcadams. the notebook is one of my faves, and its partly because ryan gosling is so effing attractive. and charming. and suave. and and and...

milo ventimiglia: i only like him when hes jess from gilmore girls, but hes the cutest. and i secretly want a jess.

michael j. fox: back to the future anyone? def in my top 10 favorite movies of all time. mostly because its fantastic. but partly because i fell in instalike with mj the first time i watched it.

liam hemsworth: nobody even knew who this kid was until they saw the last song. but that's certainly okay. he's australian. and looks almost as good with his shirt on as he does with his shirt off.

josh lucas: sweet home alabama was the beginning of my crush on mr. blue eyes, but then life as we know it just kinda sealed the deal.

josh duhamel: he just slays me is all

james franco: i think he is the most good looking man on this planet. almost. and hes smart! and i have this friend davy that looks pretty much identical to him. and i tell him. and he gets mad.

jake gyllenhaal: i just had to watch the day after tomorrow for my natural disasters class yesterday. and i fell in love with him. i mean, i saw october sky like 4347278 years ago and thought he was the cutest. but i looooved him in the day after tomorrow.

hugh jackman: oh haaaaiiiii mr. wolverine/leopold/the drover/robert angier :) australia breeds such attractive men

gerard butler: i think its obvious that i like accents. also gerard is just... :)

chase crawford: nate archibald may or may not be the big reason i watch gossip girl. and by that i mean he is.

es todo :)

twentysix days

29 days til 2011

i absolutely cannot believe this year is almost over. 2010 has gone by way tooo fast. ive decided to come up with a list of the highlights of 2010. soooooo, here it is (kind of in order):

• i experienced a blackout at byui on the last night of finals
• i dated bryan caresia
• i broke up with bryan caresia
• i worked for the best family in the world
• (andy orton)
• (zach eberhardt)
• i experienced some firsts that we don't need to discuss
• i served as the primary pianist in my ward
• i had the best birthday party ever
• i turned 19
• i tried sushi for the first time
• i went to john mayer with mr. mason whaley
• i dyed my hair back to my natural color
• i went back to byui and lived with my best friend
• i had a falling out with said best friend
• i went longboarding for the first time
• i watched every world cup game (even in class)
• i changed my major from elementary education to psychology, and declared a minor (spanish)
• i visited my favorite calaigh and spent the weekend with her
• i stayed up til 330am decorating the apartment for my roommates birthday
• i went to utah wayyy too many times
• i climbed r mountain
• i crossed "ride a motorcycle" off my bucketlist
• i spent memorial day weekend with becca lapierre, who came from home to visit me
• i went to hullballoo with betsy tracy and chelsea principio
• i went to the drive-in on a blind date
• i fell in love with amy cragun
• i applied for ecuador
• i got accepted to spend 3 months in ecuador
• i went to the david archuleta and david osmond concert
• i went to the eclipse premier and missed every class i had the next day
• i went to idaho falls for the fourth of july with some fabulous people
• i went to mesa falls with tanner shinnick (who i crushed on for 3 days after), and amy and zack
• (chris luke, the hawaiian)
• i survived my second semester and first year of college
• i moved to vegas and lived there for 7 weeks with my grandma
• i went to lake mead and smash burger for the first time
• i played dressup at the largest forever 21 in the world with shelby and juelaine
• i experienced boba for the first time, and loved every second of it
• i saw lion king at the mandalay bay
• i went to california with my mom and grandma and stayed in the terranea resort where jason and molly got married
• i went home for a week and got family pictures taken
• i went to katie goodwin's wedding reception
• i lost 12 pounds
• i spent the weekend in utah before i headed back up to byui
• (jimmy beech)
• i saw scott pilgrim vs. the world with chris leewright and justin gallegos
• i drove back to school with juelaine
• i spent every waking second with emily checketts
• i went to hullaballoo round 2 with bets and chels and emily and dusty and adam and kevin, and the rest of the rexburg population between the ages of 18 and 25
• i was on the 50 lap relay committee
• i spent conference weekend in utah
• i went to calaigh and sterling's wedding with jimmy beech, and phil taylor
• i decided to defer a semester to work
• i broke my phone
• (david starkweather)
• i decided to transfer schools
• i said goodbye to my good friend stepehen tomoser, who is currently serving a mission in california
• i got so scared i cried
• i saw mae on their farewell tour with betsy and juelaine and spent the night in the car
• i won tickets to 3oh!3
• i went to vegas for thanksgiving where i rode the bigshot at the stratosphere with amalia, and went on a scavenger hunt on the strip

aaaand im sure i missed a ton of stuff, as 2010 was a ridiculously busy year. but it was a fantastic one, for the most part. and i absolutely cannot wait to ring in the new year in quito ecuador. 2010 was good, but 2011 is gonna be even better. i just know it. even though im 29 days early, here's to the new year.

haha its a super crappy picture...

but this is becca last year on new year's eve

moms are the absolute best

my mom and i have had more than our fair share of problems in the past, but being away from her i realize how much i love and appreciate and value her. and im coming to accept that she (though i hate to admit it) is always right. i've been thinking a lot my plans for when i get back from ecuador. i'm going to be 20 and i've decided its time to start figuring out what i'm going to do with the rest of my life.

i deserve better than anyone i've ever had. i don't need anybody in my life that doesn't need me in theirs. and i'm done with being hurt, lied to, used, and taken advantage of. i think i've always been in love with the idea of love, and i'll admit that i fall too hard too fast. it's a flaw. and i'm working on it. so for now, i'm gonna do me. and that's it.

and efffff creighton. that won't be happening. but byui wont be happening either. i'm not happy here anymore. and it's beginning to keep me from...reaching my potential, or whatever. so there's a good chance that i will be at either kstate or ku next fall.

i can't express enough how ridiculously happy i am about ecuador.

i'm excited to speak nothing but spanish for 3 months.

i'm excited about spending 50+ hours in the orphanages with the children of quito.

i'm excited about this incredible opportunity i have.

i'm excited about getting away from everybody and everything.

i'm excited to be completely immersed in and devoted to the culture and service.

i'm just... so excited.

so here's to being completely over you.

i'm done waiting around.

i'm done being last on your list of priorities.

i'm done being ignored.

because i deserve better.

so much better.

here's to being happy.

this is me learning to be happy on my own before i can be happy with someone else.

this is me figuring out what i need for me.

this is me moving on.

here's to me.

i love my mom.

I.HATE.WINTER

im unmotivated,

unenthusiastic,

and entirely too negative,

about absolutely everything

i blame winter,

recent events in my personal life,

and the fact that i cant concentrate on anything

except that i will be home in 17 days

and ecuador in 29 days

also, its snowing today

and i dont do snow

which is why i shouldnt have come to a school in idaho

good thing this is my last winter here

forrrreeeeverrrr (like the kid from sandlot, of course)

so here's the plan for today:

clean the kitchen

watch boy meets world

watch the notebook

mayyybe go to choir (but only for ashley)

start the 7234981 hours of homework i have

naptime

mayyybe do laundry

go see easy a with juelaine

go to the gym

&

fall asleep to jason mraz

i like it

i like it a lot

here's to unproductivity :)

also, i hate losing friends

even if theyre dumb and steal your boyfriend

cory & topanga

"i don't want to be friends. i can love you or hate you for the rest of my life. those are the choices i see."

i love boy meets world

seasons

so you know that disorder?
SAD
seasonal affective disorder
the kind where you get depressed when its cold and cloudy
yeah, ive decided i suffer from that big time
i think thats probably why im a huge fan of spring
everything is so... new
everything comes back to life after being dead all winter
and this year, spring is bringing me lots of exciting things

when spring hits, ill be in ecuador
ill turn 20 on march 19th
a fantastic new job (or two) will be waiting for me when i get back
ill be starting a new school
with new friends
and new roommates
in a new city
but where is still to be decided

i just really like spring
and im looking forward to being happier
because when im not, im not me

and speaking of ecuador?
thirty-one days

fact

for the most part, people just suck

more often than not, im left disappointed

by the people i thought cared about me most

im very much someone that wears their heart on their sleeve

and i guess maybe it's my fault

because im the one that ends up the fool

and im pretty sick of it, actually

so bottom line?

expect nothing from people

it's the easiest way to keep from getting hurt

lesson learned

people never change

"i know how it is when someone disappoints you. its tempting to see things the way you wish they were instead of how they are"

thank you, enchanted

041608

i wish i could laugh with you again. i wish that, even though you broke me, i could still call you a friend after this long. i wish that i could give you a hug when i saw you instead of pretending you didn’t exist. i don’t love you anymore. i’ve gotten past that… but i miss the way you made me smile. i miss the way you were my best friend. i can lose a lover but losing a friend is worse than anything.

the day after

sooooo i had the best intentions of waking up at 2 and going black friday shopping

however, i suck

and when my alarm went off at 2

i couldn't muster the strength to get up

so i slept for a total of...

14 hours

impressive?

i think so

i just got off the phone with hadley

she's my favorite person in the whole world

i miss my best friend

i miss staying up til 1 or 2 on a school night

talking about life and boys and when we grow up

i miss driving around louisburg for hours

listening to music

singing (screaming) at the top of our lungs

with the sunroof open and the windows down

i miss sneaking out of the house on summer nights

to run to josh and andrew's

and laying in the street and looking at the stars

i miss our inside jokes

being able to laugh for hours

about absolutely nothing at all

i miss our weird sister senses

finishing eachother's sentences

knowing when something was wrong

i miss that time when we woke up in the middle of the night, sleeping in the basement (i'm not sure why) and singing the exact same song

i'm completely convinced that my sister is gonna be the person i miss the most while i'm in ecuador

but i can't wait to see her in less than a month

and then to be at home for 6 months

to see her get ready for prom, help her study for finals, and have summer again

because summer in louisburg?

is the best thing ever

and this year, i'll be home for it

19 days

til school is over

22 days

til i leave rexburg forever

and go to utah

24 days

til kansas

29 days

til christmas

34 days

til ecuador