i like this, a lot

take a step back. look at yourself. you are human. you are beautiful. you are so beautiful. and you can be anything. you can be everything. do not hate because someone broke your heart, or because your parents split up, your best friend betrayed you, your father hit you, the kid down the street called you fat, ugly, stupid, worthless. do not concern yourself with things you cannot control. cry when you need to, then let go when it's time. don't hang on to painful memories just because you're afraid to forget. let go of things that are in the past. forget things that aren't worth remembering. stop taking things for granted. stop taking life for granted. live for something. live for yourself. fall in love. fall out of love. fall in love. fall out of love. do this over and over until you know what it really is to love someone. question things. tell people how you really feel. sleep under the stars. create. imagine. inspire. share something wonderful. make something beautiful and then destroy it. meet new people. make someone's day. follow your dreams. live your life to its full potential. just live, dammit. let go of all the horrible things in your life and just live. and one day, when you're old, look back with no regrets.

this time last year

memorial day weekend 2010 i was in rexburg. miss becca came to visit me for the weekend, all the way from kansas. courtney and i planned a trip to the dunes with old friends and new friends. we played soccer, capture the flag, tried to roast marshmallows but got kicked out for our illegal bonfire, and then broke curfew to watch a movie at brad's apartment. oh and he lit a cup on fire at mcdonalds. it was enjoyable. i feel like this memorial day weekend won't quite be as eventful. but it does kind of mark the beginning of summer, which i happen to find all too exciting...

(nobody knew who this guy was...)

walker texas ranger

meet walker

he isn't a texas ranger. although i think that'd be kind of neat. i believe i mentioned walker here. he's a funny little guy. he declared today a "jammies day" so he didn't put real clothes on. but that was fine. we sat in the basement for an hour during a tornado warning, we played ice age on nintendo move, we ate chicken nuggets for lunch, and then watched an episode each of batman and full house. it was a pretty productive day, i'd say. and while we were watching batman, and a glass of punch fell onto the floor (in the show), what did walker say? "they need to clean that up, somebody could slip" ...good lookin' out, walker john.

please pray for joplin

i'm sure you guys have at least heard about this by now

but a devastating tornado passed through joplin missouri last night

the death toll was at 116 last i heard and is quickly rising

over 45% of the city is completely demolished

i have friends who live in joplin

thankfully they're all safe and have been reunited with their families

but there are hundreds of people who weren't so lucky

tonight we went to price chopper and my mom spent a couple hundred dollars on groceries and hygiene stuff for the people who are now homeless. i wish i could be down there helping out. but for now, these people could really use some extra thoughts and prayers.

at world's end

i spent pretty much all weekend at wedding receptions. i worked friday night aaaaand saturday night, and it was exhausting. yesterday's event was stressful. everyone was having a rough night and there was lots of yelling, arguing, crying, and things not being ready on time. but by 8 or 9 when the music was booming from the speakers and people were flowing to the dance floor (and after the DJ announced we were safe from the rapture), things were looking up. the boys who were working as dish washers could tell i was having a bad night and they may or may not have let me throw cake in their face. i felt worlds better afterwards. at about 11 we heard the tornado sirens go off so we started herding drunk wedding guests to the basement. it was a pretty eventful evening.

also, i've been spending a lot of time with this boy.

and i got to skype with this one for a couple hours the other day.

this week i also got to see my bank account finally surpass the $1000 mark! today is graduation for all the seniors at my high school and i'm going to a few open houses in a couple hours. i can't believe that was me two years ago! that's just weeeeiiiiird.

anyways, happy sunday, everybody!

meredith grey

my absolute favorite part of grey's anatomy, is the few seconds at the very beginning and very end of each episode. my favorite part is the meredith grey quote. they're seriously the most profound, thought-provoking, lines. and here are some of my favorites...

"There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever."

"Adapt or die. As many times as we've heard it, the lesson doesn't get easier. The problem is we're human. We want more than just to survive. We want love. We want success. We want to be the best that we can be. So, we fight like hell to get those things. Anything else feels like death."

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.”

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.”

“Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big 'pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window', unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.”

"Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”

“I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope...”

"Knowing is better than wondering, waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying."

for real though, aren't they perfect?

work = play

i'm not sure if i've ever mentioned just how much i love working. i've had a job pretty consistently ever since i was 15. even though i wish so terribly that i was at school with all my friends right now, i'm pretty happy that i'm working so much. during the week, i get to play with some of the cutest/funniest/smartest/funnest kids ever. and during the weekend, i get to go to wedding receptions, eat delicious food, and laugh at drunk people on the dance floor. it's pretty great actually. so most of the time, my job feels more like play than it does work. two of my favorites are sam and kate. we go on walks, play skipbo, watch disney movies, and plan fieldrips for the summer. and i love it a whole lot. i don't want to grow up and get a real job because i'm confident it's not going to be near as much fun as my job now. that is all.