this girl...

...she's my heart

friendship confessions

this week over at the shine project, ashley has been talking about life changing relationships. so i'm here to tell you about miiiiiiiine. while you read, let your ears enjoy this deliciousness by bon iver.

i've kind of said this before, but i'm not one of those people who have had the pleasure of meeting their best friends in diapers, and staying close ever since. my friends have changed whenever i've moved. and for some reason they can't withstand the time and distance that separates us. we both change and grow and mature, and turn into different people. we don't do this together, we do this and go our own ways. 

when i was born and lived in california, brooke hartman was my best friend. but when i was 3 we moved. and i haven't seen much of her since. when i was in preschool i met hannah eggleston. she wouldn't share her toy with me so what did i do? i bit her. both of our parents got called down to the school and we were best friends since. our families would carve pumpkins together, go to worlds of fun together, and we never bit each other ever again.

(i'm on the left, she's in the middle)

i went to three different elementary schools. again, my friends changed with each move. in kindergarten and 1st grade i played with michelle dunlap, jessica bindi and jeffrey sooter. in 2nd grade sydney hague was my bff. in 3rd grade i switched schools again and this time i was really close with ali rios, madison chinn, and nici ashner. but, we didn't go to the same middle school, as my family moved again. i still talked to ali some because we were cool preteens and got cell phones. i'm pretty sure we even had a sleepover once or twice. but i was busy, and so was she, so that friendship slowly dissipated as well.

in the awkwardness of middle school i got close to jennifer baldwin, laila al-khashti, lauren cox, and kinsey belgeri. but again, four years later, my family moved to louisburg. this time it was a little bit easier to stay in contact. we had texting, facebook, and i only lived half an hour away from them. junior year i had a falling out with jen, and because girls are girls, i was no longer friends with the rest of them. but mollie schaefer was there to pick up the pieces and so began our best friendship.

the summer after our junior year of high school, we were inseparable. for the most part, the four of us (mollie, me, and our sisters) spent every day and night together. we had the most wonderful time doing... nothing. she was the best friend i'd ever had. she stood up for me, she gave as much as she took, and she loved me for who i was. i don't think i'd ever had a better friend before mollie. 

senior year came and we both started to change. we got busy getting ready to graduate and go to college. we started hanging out with different people. we went to prom together! but things just weren't like they were that summer. we talk less, and see each other very infrequently. we were best friends, but even that friendship isn't still intact.

the friendship that changed my life, would probably be my friendship with brent arnold. i met him in spanish 2 my first semester at louisburg high school. i honestly remember thinking, "he's so attractive, he's probably way too good for me" ...is that not ridiculous? we had a couple classes together and started hanging out with the same group of people. we became best friends. i would bring him his homework when he missed school, and take care of him when he was sick. i would spend my weekends with him playing halo or watching him skate. i would even leave musical practice early and sneak over to his house just to spend a few minutes with him during the week. 

he always had a girlfriend. people thought that girlfriend was me, but only because he spent more time with me than he did with his actual girlfriends. as you can imagine, this created some problems. mostly for me. i was on the receiving end of a lot of hatefulness and cruelty. junior year was rough because of that. but then brent and i dated. it's what everyone expected would happen. and i'm glad it did. not much changed between us, he was already my best friend and the only person i spent all day thinking about. he was my very first kiss and my first real boyfriend (i don't count brian ivanuska who asked me out in 5th grade at the beginning of recess and then broke up with me when it was time to go back inside).

we were off and on for the rest of high school. we didn't realize it then, or maybe we just didn't say it out loud.  but we loved each other. i've dated three people since brent, but he was the only boy i've ever felt that way about. he's the kind of person i can sit in silence with and have it be perfectly comfortable. he knows my secrets and still cares about me. he doesn't hate spending time with my family, and i adore his. now that we're both back home (and living at his parents house), at least for two more weeks, i'm realizing how much my relationship with him has changed my life. it's taught me what i want and deserve from life and from a person. the best part of moving to louisburg was meeting him. and the thought of missing him is making it hard to leave.

 

and the best part of all this, is that yesterday i woke up with "i love you" written on my hand

♥

aims baims

i've briefly discussed here and here just how much i adore amy. but for real. she's literally the greatest thing that happened to me friend-wise. and today, i did my daily creeping and what did i find? i found this magic. i feel that this perfectly describes our relationship. i love amy. and how many days til i see her? only 63! 

this time last year

memorial day weekend 2010 i was in rexburg. miss becca came to visit me for the weekend, all the way from kansas. courtney and i planned a trip to the dunes with old friends and new friends. we played soccer, capture the flag, tried to roast marshmallows but got kicked out for our illegal bonfire, and then broke curfew to watch a movie at brad's apartment. oh and he lit a cup on fire at mcdonalds. it was enjoyable. i feel like this memorial day weekend won't quite be as eventful. but it does kind of mark the beginning of summer, which i happen to find all too exciting...

(nobody knew who this guy was...)

these four

i work at a country club on the weekends. i serve at wedding receptions, bar/bat mitzvahs, holiday parties, reunions, and other such events. but i work more wedding receptions than anything. being around wedding festivities all weekend is an interesting experience. i've met my fair share of bridezillas, druuuuuuuunk wedding parties, and creepy family members. i've also gotten lots of ideas for what i want my reception to look and feel like. but one of my favorite parts is the toast. sometimes i stand right inside the door of the room and listen to the toasts of the maid of honor and the best man. they usually start out like, "i've known ____________ since forever, and we've been best friends ever since" ...now, let me get to my point (i know it's taking a while).

i  haven't been lucky enough to have the same three best friends since kindergarten. i went to three different elementary schools, one middle school, and two high schools. my best friends changed every couple of years (usually when i moved), and didn't withstand the time and distance that separated me from them. however, over the last year and a half or so, i've found four of the best friends i've ever had. and this time they're different. i get the feeling that these girls will be my friends forever.

i'll go in order of who i met first...

juelaine kahilipulu noa and i met our freshman year of college. wanna know who introduced us? my grandma... haha but i'm so glad she did. juelaine is one of the best things that happened to me that first challenging semester at byui. she's my favorite hawaiian princess and i love her with all that i am. i love that she tells me when i'm being stupid and i love that she's my musical soulmate.

i met amy shes-not-cool-and-doesn't-have-a-middle-name cragun that semester as well, in spanish class. i sat behind her the first day and then when we were forced to do "group work" together we became insta-friends. it wasn't until the next semester that we fell in love though. we spent every waking second of spring semester 2010 together and i really liked it. a lot. she is also by far the funniest creature on the planet.

dana elizabeth tracy came next. we spent most of our lives living 20 minutes away from each other, but it wasn't until our second semester at byui that we actually met. betsy is my girl. she knows when something is wrong and doesn't hesitate to come to my rescue. she's been through a lot, so i feel like she values life more than other people do. it's one of the things i love most about her.

cassie rae hillam came into my life only four months ago in ecuador, but i feel like i've known her since forever. she is kind. she knows everything about me and still doesn't judge. she gets me. she knows where i've been and where i want to be. she's my sister and my best friend. 

now that i have them, i don't really want to know my life without them. when i get married, i won't have by my side girls that i've known since birth. but i will have girls that i love and whose friendship i cherish more than anything. and that's what i'm grateful for.

take a peek

these are pretty out of order, forgive me

this is all of us at the hotel, before the banquet started...

(left to right: ariel, abby, beth ann, brianne, cassie, angela, kayla, me, trina, runar, caitlin, emily, macie)

me and macie telling secrets, no big deal

all the photobooth pictures are from before the banquet

roommate lovin'

tonight is brianne, beth ann, and cassie's last night... also the new group is coming in tonight, so those three have to be out of their rooms. instead of making them feel lonely in the visitor area of the house, we all decided to sleep in the living room