scammage

i just had my car serviced on thursday. it was due for its 5,000 mile oil change and check-up (tune-up? i don't know, i'm not a car person). i also asked the guy if he would check my brakes for me. back in february when i got my car serviced in utah before shipping it to kentucky, the man at the toyota place told me my brake pads were suuuuper worn and needed to be replaced immediately upon returning home. 

(i've had that thought in the back of my head every time i've gone out on the road. i'm honestly surprised i haven't slammed into the back of someone's car due to barely there brake pads.) 

well, the kind man who worked on my car told me that my brakes were perfectly fine. not only were the fine, they were in great condition, and wouldn't need to be replaced for months. he said the guy in utah was probably trying to take advantage of me, seeing as i'm young and obviously know nothing about cars. this guy could've replaced my brake pads and charged me an arm and a leg for something i didn't even need done! buuuuuut he didn't. i think it's because there's still some genuinely good people left on this planet. few, but definitely enough. 

that is all.

i hope your monday has been swell.

mutha's day

dear mom, thanks for everything. 

for the years and years of going above and beyond.

i couldn't have done a better job if i hand-picked you myself.

i feel so very blessed to call you mine. 

i love you. 

happy mother's day!

(so, so weird to think that this time next year i'll be calling from spain!)

perfect timing

we all have bad days. when a bunch of little things accumulate and become a big thing, when someone says something that sets you off, or when you just happen to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. it's a terribly unfortunate part of life. but sometimes, just as quickly as you can enter a bad mood, a few words can send you right out of it. like that time trina left a note on my pillow. the other day i woke up and was not feelin' it. but then i checked my phone and woke up to this most wonderful message...

"Paige I love you with all of my heart. You're my best friend and I really, really appreciate you. I think ypu are the strongest person I know. I've admired you since I first saw your scriptures open on your desk at your dorm one day freshman year.  Ha :) I think you're beautiful and driven and smart and close to the Savior and I know this text is weirdo but I really love you."

boom. day changed.

thanks amy lou.

catching my breath

finals week is coming to close. praise the lord, allah, budah, whoever you worship. this was the hardest semester in my five semesters (unfortunately my grades reflect that) and i've never wanted so badly for it to be over. this is the first second of spare time i've had all week and i'm simply reveling in it.

i wish i was going to kentucky for christmas. but i'm thankful i have a job, and i'm thankful i have a place to live, and i'm thankful i have family in provo who is letting me spend the holidays with them. but most of all i'm just really excited that in just 12 days brent will be here in idaho with me.

on gratitude

right now i'm cuddled up in a big blanket, with my puppy and a cup of hot chocolate that my brother made me. my hands are warm, my feet are toasty, and i am thankful. i have been so blessed with the best life i could ask for. i have a family who loves me, friends who support me, a boy who cares about me, a job that provides for me, and countless other things and people that make waking up every day worth it.

i'm in lagrange kentucky right now. it's kind of strange. this isn't my home, but my family is here so it feels right. the house my mom bought is beautiful and the town is charming, complete with railroad tracks that run right through main street. the view from every window is picturesque and the trees lining the driveway are something out of a movie. my brother and sister are lucky to finish growing up here.

this is the first thanksgiving i've spent with my family in two years and i'm not ready for it to end in a couple days. however i'm enjoying the little moments while i can; the laughter that accompanies 30 minute rounds of apples to apples with my mom and siblings, the childishness of letting my sister give me a makeover as we sing and dance to britney, katy, and gaga, the wet on my face as my puppy kisses me awake every morning, and the warmth that comes not from the fire burning in the room adjacent me, but from the family that i get to call mine forever. 

this is thanksgiving. this is gratitude.

21 hours

in 21 hours i will be departing from salt lake city and on my way east and a little bit south to kentucky. am i over-the-top excited? i am. have i been counting down to this day since i booked my flight? i have. it's been a long four months since i've seen my family and i miss them! this week means hair appointments, scrabble games, a turkey feast (duh), probably some movie watching, a tour of my family's new town, late-night conversations cuddled up in bed with my sister, hugs from my baby brother who is taller than i am, and making up for way too much lost time. 

i'm thankful for my family and that i get to go home for thanksgiving this year.

sunday thank you's

i feel so unbelievably blessed lately. i'm the luckiest girl in the whole world. 

thank you to my wonderful mother,
for the surprise check in the mail that i desperately needed

thank you to christina, scott, sean, bryson, nicole, eric and everyone else i worked with this week,
for helping me when things got stressful, and for answering my stupid questions (without making me feel stupid)

thank you to joey,
for ensuring i don't fail social stats by holding my hand through every homework assignment

thank you to weston,
for being my best friend and surprising me with "i love you" texts that make my whole day

thank you to kelsey and betsy's home teachers,
for making us homemade chicken alfredo for lunch today

thank you to cory,
for wiping my tears (and not making fun of me) as i cried about missing my grandpa

thank you to my spanish professor,
for letting me make-up two vocab tests that i missed when i skipped class

thank you to rexburg,
for giving the students of byu-idaho a fall this year, i'm seriously loving it

what are you thankful for?

first week blues

i started school monday. monday, as in, three days ago. and already i'm stressed. here's why:

1. my spanish class terrifies me. it's a 300 level class, which means all these impressive spanish speaking rm's are in there who understand everything that's going on and know just what to say. i'm one of 4 girls in the class, 2 of whom served missions, and therefore know what's up as well. the class is about phonetics. i feel like this would be hard enough for me in english, but i have to study it in spanish. cool.

2. my room isn't all the way set up. i've lived here for a week now, and i just got unpacked yesterday. but i still have things all over my floor and desk and dresser and nothing on my walls, and it's making me anxious.

3. i have $88.11 in my checking account, to last me until i get a job. which will hopefully be sometime soon because i have 8 job applications sitting in my backpack that i need to finish filling out and take back to the restaurants from which i got them.

4. not understanding my online class. i don't understand it, not because of the material, but because i've never taken an online class before. waaaaah help me. plus it's science, and that's icky.

5. my three options for food are; cereal, quesadillas, and, drum-roll please... turkey sandwiches. i wish i had more food in my house. and not just more food, but real food. but that would require me to have money. which i have very little of (see #3). i'm at least doing better than betsy, who only has the choice of frosted flakes or cinnamon toast crunch. actually, she just finished her frosted flakes yesterday, so it sucks to be her.

6. i'm going to china this winter, you know? i've been planning on going through ILP (international language programs). but this week i've encountered so many people who have gone through China Horizons, which i've heard is significantly cheaper for essentially the same experience. and i don't know what to do. it seems like an easy choice, but i'm having a hard time making it.

7. i seemed to have lost my ipod and sunglasses. two necessities of life. i will offer a reward to any finder of these things. nothing monetary, don't be ridiculous. we're talking high fives and hugs.

in the midst of all this stress and frustration, i'm still finding things to be thankful for:

1. my friends. chelsie, madi, t'jae, and tanner in particular have been so great. lunch dates, movie dates, hugs, and heart to hearts on the way to idaho falls have made this stressful week so much better. i'm happy and grateful to be back in rexburg with my idaho people. i love them.

2. my roommates. every semester that i've been here, something significant has happened with at least one of my roommates to make me hate my life. that's what you get when you live with girls i guess. but i have a feeling this semester will be different. i already love them all so much and i'm hoping and praying for a drama free semester.

3. my mom. in child development yesterday we talked about things that our parents did growing up to help us develop biosocially, cognitivally, and psychosocially. i shared an experience i remembered from when i was younger and my professor said "make sure you thank your mom every day, that's incredible." i seriously love that woman.

4. my new ward. little freshmen dorm boys are in my fhe group this semester which i'm not thrilled about, but on the very very positive side of things... our bishop and his wife are taking all the girls in our ward to their cabin up in island park this weekend for food, games, food, movies, and lots more food. 

5. the nice weather. the thing i hate most about idaho is that it's freezing for most of the year. but right now it's september which means it's cool in the morning and warm by the afternoon. i like that. it's also going to be nice for when betsy, kelsey, katie and i go to betsy's diabetic walk this saturday.

6. i don't have class on tuesday's and thursday's, hence why it's 12:36 and i'm blogging in bed, having not gotten ready for the day yet.

7. i'm alive. whenever i'm feeling like life hates me i have to take a step back and make a list of all the things that are going right. it's helpful... i'm alive. i have a family who loves me. i have friends who are there for me. i have the opportunity to get an education where my beliefs and lifestyle as a mormon are accepted, encouraged, and supported. i have opportunities and plans. and again, i'm alive.

i apologize for the novel. it was more for my benefit than for anyone else's. haha oops. have a happy thursday! p.s. tumblr thursday will be up today for once, and not tomorrow (thank you #6).

sunday thank you's

today i'm laying in bed because of the ridiculous sunburn on my back and legs, which makes it hard (and unbearably painful) to do anything else but lay on my tummy. so that's fun. i'm a little behind on my sunday thank you's. so without further ado...

thank you to chris and jessie,
for driving the 18 hours from kansas to utah with me

thank you to melanie,
for fixing my eyeball and making it feel all better again

thank you to the wasmer family,
for a great last week and for the giftcards and pictures

thank you to steve from olathe toyota,
for finally fixing my rav 4 and doing the labor for free

thank you to amy and cassie,
for letting me crash at their apartments for a week

thank you to michael,
for helping me fill up the air in my tires so i didn't die on the way to vegas

thank you to my mother,
for buying me like $600 worth of new tires

thank you to my grandma,
for having me the last week and for spoiling me with meals, hair color, money for disneyland, and an aloe vera rub down

snapshots of lately + sunday thank you's

thank you to my mother,
for the massive check she sent me last week

thank you to the phillips family,
for my chapstick, skittles, nail polish, picture, card, and "we ♥ paige" poster

thank you to brant,
for getting my name painting done so fast so i could have it before i leave

thank you to juelaine,
for getting our hotel arrangements made (for our trip to california/disneyland)

thank you to the creators of aloe vera,
for providing me with soothing relief after i got so burnt at the lake saturday

thank you to the members of the paola ward,
for loving my family and me for the last 5 years, it's so hard to leave!

it's weird how much he likes monopoly

thaaaank youuuuu brant doerfler

walker's lunch on thursday... 5 whole doritos, no more, no less

the note my mom sent me with my check

my favorite part is the "make healthy choices" ...love her

mine and suzanne's scrabble board

highest point word: "caved" by me

for 57 points

sometimes i send amy pictures of my clothes

and apparently make awkward faces

my hair needs highlights

not this color though, icky

breakfast after pilates saturday morning

blueberry pancakes with homemade blueberry syrup

courtesy of suzanne

delish

i sent this to my mom and the text said
"i cut my hair"

she believed me for a little bit i think

not sure what the weather's like everywhere else, but it's rainy/stormy here

enjoy your monday!

sunday thank you's

thank you to megan at ILP,

for helping me get things ready to go to china

thank you to melanie,

for the sweet "thought about you today" message

thank you to suzanne,

for the hospitality, meals, clean laundry and substitute motherly love the last three weeks

thank you to melissa and hilary,

for posting recent pictures of our ecuador babies (no thanks for the many tears that followed the time i spent looking at them)

thank you to ruthie,

for the much needed hug today

thank you to the magical weather gods,

for taking away the three digit temperatures for a few days

i haven't had any very note-worthy experiences lately that warrant a big thanks to anybody,

but i'm learning to be grateful fort the little things

because sometimes they make all the difference

there is always something to be thankful for

answered prayers

my family moved last week. i called my mom at about noon on thursday to find out how their drive was. she told me that everything was going smoothly. except for the fact that the horse trailer that my stepdad was pulling in his truck had gotten a flat tire and had hit my sister who was driving behind him. my mom and brother were driving behind my sister and had seen this all happen. my brother offered a quick prayer that they would be able to fix the trailer and get back on the road. not five minutes later, a man on a tractor came out of nowhere and just happened to have a forklift on the front of his tractor.  he and my stepdad were able to lift the trailer and fix the tire. my mom said it only set them back about 15 minutes.

answered prayer.

when i got home from ecuador and started work, i printed off a calendar of every month i'd be home. i stapled them together, wrote in the little square for each day where i needed to be and when, and used it as my schedule. as you can imagine, my success and responsibility this summer depends on these pieces of paper. my schedule is my life. with all the craziness of moving, i lost my schedule. devastating, right? i looked everywhere i could think that it would logically be and after many failed attempts at finding it, i finally prayed that i would remember where i put it last. this past weekend i finished unpacking all of my things and, in my red purse that i almost left at my parents house, i found my folded schedule.

answered prayer.

monday was my only day off this week. my plan was to wake up early and be at the taxpayer assistance center the moment they opened their doors at 8:30am, and get the paperwork i needed to take care of my tax issue. my plan got messed up the moment i started my car and found three lights on that, after i looked in my car's owner manual, meant that i needed to take my car in to the dealership. after i got on the highway i also learned that my cruise control wasn't working either. awesome. i called my mom to see if she thought i could make it the tax place, or if i needed to take it in to get fixed. i prayed that i would be able to get my car functioning properly, and maybe even quickly so i could make it to my other appointments that day. i called the toyota dealership and they told me their maintenance schedule was completely full, but they could at least get me in to tell me if it was safe to be driving or not. very long story short, it turned out to be something they could easily fix and i was on my merry way in just an hour.

answered prayer. 

ever since i got my notice from the dreaded IRS a couple weeks ago, i've been including in my daily prayers that i'd be able to get the issue resolved without a lot of trouble and money. last friday when i sat and waited at the taxpayer assistance center for two and a half hours without getting any help before the one worker went on her lunch break, i came prepared on monday with books, magazines, and plenty of things to keep me occupied forever, if that's how long it took. i only waited one hour! the time flew right by.

answered prayer.

leaving the tax place, i called h&r block to let them know that i'd bringing the papers by for rick, the man helping me, to look at before our meeting wednesday (knowing he wouldn't be there because he had the day off). when i came in, the receptionist said "a little birdie told me rick is in the back, lets go get him." he told me he felt like coming in for a bit today and that he even had time to meet with me! hooray! in half an hour everything was taken care of. he didn't charge me for his services, saying i could consider it a late birthday present. my birthday was in march. i love rick.

answered prayer.

i am grateful for the power of prayer and the little miracles that have happened in my life the last week.

these four

i work at a country club on the weekends. i serve at wedding receptions, bar/bat mitzvahs, holiday parties, reunions, and other such events. but i work more wedding receptions than anything. being around wedding festivities all weekend is an interesting experience. i've met my fair share of bridezillas, druuuuuuuunk wedding parties, and creepy family members. i've also gotten lots of ideas for what i want my reception to look and feel like. but one of my favorite parts is the toast. sometimes i stand right inside the door of the room and listen to the toasts of the maid of honor and the best man. they usually start out like, "i've known ____________ since forever, and we've been best friends ever since" ...now, let me get to my point (i know it's taking a while).

i  haven't been lucky enough to have the same three best friends since kindergarten. i went to three different elementary schools, one middle school, and two high schools. my best friends changed every couple of years (usually when i moved), and didn't withstand the time and distance that separated me from them. however, over the last year and a half or so, i've found four of the best friends i've ever had. and this time they're different. i get the feeling that these girls will be my friends forever.

i'll go in order of who i met first...

juelaine kahilipulu noa and i met our freshman year of college. wanna know who introduced us? my grandma... haha but i'm so glad she did. juelaine is one of the best things that happened to me that first challenging semester at byui. she's my favorite hawaiian princess and i love her with all that i am. i love that she tells me when i'm being stupid and i love that she's my musical soulmate.

i met amy shes-not-cool-and-doesn't-have-a-middle-name cragun that semester as well, in spanish class. i sat behind her the first day and then when we were forced to do "group work" together we became insta-friends. it wasn't until the next semester that we fell in love though. we spent every waking second of spring semester 2010 together and i really liked it. a lot. she is also by far the funniest creature on the planet.

dana elizabeth tracy came next. we spent most of our lives living 20 minutes away from each other, but it wasn't until our second semester at byui that we actually met. betsy is my girl. she knows when something is wrong and doesn't hesitate to come to my rescue. she's been through a lot, so i feel like she values life more than other people do. it's one of the things i love most about her.

cassie rae hillam came into my life only four months ago in ecuador, but i feel like i've known her since forever. she is kind. she knows everything about me and still doesn't judge. she gets me. she knows where i've been and where i want to be. she's my sister and my best friend. 

now that i have them, i don't really want to know my life without them. when i get married, i won't have by my side girls that i've known since birth. but i will have girls that i love and whose friendship i cherish more than anything. and that's what i'm grateful for.

i love my mom

several times, every day, the thought of how difficult being a mom is crosses my mind. i think about the time, love, sacrifice, and patience that goes into raising a child. i think about one day becoming a mother, and raising a family along side my husband.

and, i think about my own mom.

unfortunately, and admittedly, i gave my mom hell in high school. and i wish i realized then what i do now. i wish i realized that she was doing the very best that she could. i wish i realized that she's on my side, loves me, and wants me to be happy. i love her more than the world. and am sorry for the time i could have had with her back then, if i had been nicer.

i'm grateful for a mom who loves me, even when it's hard. who is there for me always. who, despite being on her own for part of our childhood, always made my sister and me first on her list of priorities. i love my mom. and i want to be like her.

the GREATEST news

i have an announcement to make:

baby micaela is out of the hospital!

she had a minor freak out yesterday and was put back on oxygen, 

but this morning she was released!

thank you for your prayers :)

the sooner you learn this, the better

happiness is a decision

it's a state of mind

you choose to be happy

and sometimes i forget

we have every friday off. today is mindo. ziplining through the jungle. and tubing down the river. but i didn't go because i was still feeling crummy this morning. so i've been laying in bed all day watching movies and reading and feeling all sorry for myself. waaaaah boo. but then i decided to shower...

and i decided to be happy. and productive. so i'm spending my day folding laundry, cleaning my room, making new playlists on itunes. and maybe another movie.

im in ecuador. how many people my age get to go to south america for three months to take care of little orphan kids and not have to pay for it? i am the luckiest. and i'm grateful for the people who helped me get here. cause it really is the time of my life. some days are hard. and i miss my family, my friends, my kansas. but i need to remember how lucky i am to be here.

i could choose to whine and complain

but i choose to be happy

one week down

a week ago tonight i was getting into ecuador. it feels like a lot longer than that. but i'm happy it's going by slowly. i already don't ever want to leave here. today was the first day i haven't had a morning shift. and though it was a nice break, i'm kinda missing the babies that i spend so much time with. in the little hallway between mine and ariels, and cassie and abbys room, is a stack of notebooks for each child we work with. and they are filled with letters from osso volunteers to the babies. i got through about 4 of them this morning and started bawling my eyes out so i had to stop. i can't believe how much i already love them. sometimes they will pee and poo on me, and sometimes they will throw a fit when they don't get their way, but they will always have my heart. i know that this is where i should be right now, and this is what i should be doing. being here, and working with little orphans all day every day also makes me realize how grateful and blessed i am to have grown up with parents and family that loves me and takes care of me and wants the best for me. but i want these babies to grow up knowing that they too had a family that loved them and took care of them. and i'm happy that we get to be that family for them. i love them. and they have completely stolen my heart.

thanksygivegive

today,

i am thankful for:

my family, especially my mom

my real friends

the opportunity i have to get an education

everyone who's helping me get to ecuador (in just 35 days!)

the army, marine, navy, and air force men i call my friends and family

arms to hug with, and hands to hold

my talents

clean laundry

cars and planes to get me to my family

music; making it, listening to it, lyrics that express the things i cannot, and the people i share it with

my trials and the things i learn from them

all kinds of love

letters from my friends serving missions

traditions, new and old

my obsession with the spanish language

money that makes my life easier

that i am who i am

the miracle of forgiveness

the gospel i am a part of

and, my God

happy thanksgiving all, eat up :)

i hate the salt lake express

family isn't just the people you share a name, blood, or home with

family is a feeling

over the last year i've found family in so many places, and for that i am grateful

last thanksgiving i had the absolute worst time trying to get home. i was taking the shuttle from rexburg to the slc airport, because everybody had already left school and it was my only way to the airport. the driver was 20 minutes late picking us up, and we got more and more behind with each stop we made. when we got to ogden (which is like an hour north of the airport), i called my mom cause i was concerned i wasn't going to make it in time. my plane was to leave at 6:50 and it was already 6:00. i started to get frantic with each passing minute. i called my mom and stepdad, and my dad and stepmom, trying to figure out if there were people i could stay with in the salt lake area in case i missed my plane. at this point i was crying and most of the people on the shuttle knew what was going on. it was so embarrassing. a man came over and sat down next to me and was like "i couldn't help but overhear your situation, and if you'd like, i can help you with your things and try to get you on your plane." still a tearful mess i thanked him and accepted his offer. we got to the airport at 6:45. we rushed in the appropriate terminal and ran to the desk to find out if it was too late.... it was. i don't think i'd stopped crying this whole time. i got my mom on the phone to buy the last seat on the first flight out the next morning. they wouldn't take her credit card over the phone and i didn't have money in my checking account to use mine. the man who was still with me offered to buy me my ticket so i could get home. that may or may not have been the nicest thing anybody has ever done for me. i found family in the generosity of that man.

this thanksgiving i'm not going home,

but i'm at least going to be with my family

and during this season i can't help but remember and be grateful for the people who go out of their way to show me kindness

thank you

im in sort of a thankful mood today.

im thankful for:

my amazing mom

my sister, who is also my best friend

the gospel

bishop cook

self-help books

rain

missionaries

cars

grammy's letters

that i can feel my grandpa here

donations for ecuador

my bed

cameras

electricity

water

where i live

intelligence

creativity

honesty

integrity

laughter

happiness

good moods

the english language

even better, the spanish language

my running shoes

ice cubes

good smelling shampoo

alarm clocks

phone chargers

makeup

forgiveness

my God

sometimes i forget the little things im thankful for. i dont say thank you enough. i think im gonna work on that. because frankly, i dont want "thank you" to go extinct.