dear hadley

we've been through a lot in the last year, you and i.

but if we can make it this far, i think we can make it through anything.

i need you to know that i love you with all my heart.

you're my everything; my sidekick, my biggest fan, and my happy place.

without you, i am nothing.

i'm here for you now and always.

i love you, my forever friend.

friday letters

dear tom,
happy birthday to you! 53 years down, old man. keep up the good work.

dear kentucky,
i really like you. thanks for being so welcoming, you know, with the warm weather and all. i'm really enjoying it. so if you could just keep it like this for awhile, i wouldn't mind at all! thanks in advance.

dear suitcases and boxes,
i really wish you'd just unpack yourselves. we're not friends.

dear sister,
i like having my best friend around. thanks for being silly with me. that includes, but is not limited to: trying on stupid sunglasses at the summit, laughing with me when nobody else will, sleepovers in your bed when the bull riders take over my room, and being encouraging when we run up the big hill. eye luff ewe.

dear the stupid appointments i've had to go to this week,
let's just agree that i owned you.

dear march 19th (aka my birthday)
COME FASTER PLEEEAASE! i'm ready to be 21, thank you very much.

dear ravy,
hurry up and get your cute toyota self here already so i can start work and make some money.

dear puppy,
thanks for keeping my secrets. and for the kisses i suppose.

a little letter

i did this for chelsie last summer,

but decided i wanted it on my blog too

To my 16-year-old me,

I believe that if I had known four years ago what I know now, I’d probably be in a better place. I’d probably be more successful, and definitely a little happier. So to you, naïve, young, cautious me of the past, I impart upon you my thoughts, advice, and wisdom of what is to come.

Be good to Mom. She’s put a lot of time, prayer, love, and worry into raising you. Don’t let it go to waste. She doesn’t deserve all the times you’re disobedient or disrespectful. Say something sweet to her everyday and go out of your way to be helpful, loving, and kind. Be honest with her. Respect her rules, though you may think they are unnecessary, foolish, or begging to be broken. Make an effort to improve your relationship with her. Because one day, you’ll realize she’s the only person in the world who has been there for you always. And you won’t want to have jeopardized the bond you’ve built with her. Remember that she is on your side, and wants nothing but your happiness and well being.

Work hard, really hard. In Algebra 2 when Ms. Smith has gotten on your very last nerve and you’re sick of being a sophomore and want nothing but for the year to be over, don’t stop doing your homework. Because if you do, you’ll end up with a pathetic little D on your report card that will upset Mom, ruin your GPA, and get you grounded for most of the summer, leaving you without a car and without a phone. And junior year, make sure you kick butt in your AP classes. Because I’m almost certain that if you do, you’ll get into your dream school. Trust Mr. Sickel and try out for Select Choir when he tells you to, not a year later. It turns out you’re good (who knew?).

You know that boy in your Spanish class, the one who eats lunch with your group of friends? Well, you guys are going to become best friends. And then you’re going to fall in love. And when you get into a really big fight, don’t be too upset with him. If you do, your friendship and relationship will end. And you’ll both be hurt. Let yourself love him. He’s the real thing.

Call Grandpa as often as you can, just to tell him you love him. Because senior year he’ll be gone, and you won’t be able to tell him anymore. And when you have to go live with Grandma for the summer after your first year of college, be excited about it. Because you’re going to find out how great she is, and how much she loves you.

Don’t be afraid; of making new friends, of trying new things, of being yourself. Be nice to absolutely everybody. Even the ones who are mean to you. Because the best advice you’ll probably ever get is to “kill them with kindness.” And it works so much better than being mean right back. Keep that in mind especially junior year.

When you’re 19 years old, you’re going to go to Ecuador for three months to volunteer in the orphanages. So make sure you pay attention in Spanish class! I mean it; learn as much as you can. This experience is going to completely change your life. You’re going to serve with girls who end up becoming life-long friends. You’re going to fall completely in love with some of the cutest, most perfect children on the planet.  Enjoy every single day, because when you come home you’re going to want to go right back and you won’t be able to. And while you think you’re so wonderful for changing their lives, they’re going to end up saving yours.

Don’t worry too much, and don’t sweat the small stuff. But the most important thing to know is that life goes on. High school ends, memories fade, people you thought were your friends turn out not to be, and things get tricky sometimes. But life goes on. There is something bigger and better than right now. Live in the moment, but don’t forget to dream. Make goals, make plans, and think of the bigger picture too. These are nowhere near the best years of your life. So just hold on. You can do it. You were born for this.

Love,

Paige

my dear daughter

my good friend betsy shared this with me a couple weeks ago when i really needed it. since then i've read it at least every other day. i cry every time. i've had a rough couple days lately. things have been really hard and this is a nice reminder that my heavenly father loves me so much, no matter what.

My Dear Daughter,

I just wanted to remind you today of how beautiful you are, because there is a father of lies who will try to deceive you.  He will try to tell you that you are not good enough, not attractive enough, not thin enough, not strong enough, not smart enough, not righteous enough and that you are simply unimportant to Me. He will try to tell you that you have broken too many promises, that you have fallen too many times, that you have lived one too many lies, and that you've been going in the wrong direction so long that it is pointless to turn back now. 

But guess what? 

You do not belong to him. He is not your father.

I am.

You see, you are My creation. My workmanship. You have been borne of My thought, every part of you placed together by My hands. You have My thumbprint upon you. You are a princess, did you know that? You are My child, a daughter of the Most High God. I look at you and I see a precious, priceless pearl. There is no ocean I would not swim, no mountain I would not climb, no price I would not pay to have you and to be with you and call you My own. I already have. I have done all that I could, given all that there is. I desire to be with you every moment of the day. How I long for you to talk to Me everyday. My love for you never grows cold. My promises are never broken (contrary to what he might lead you to believe). My character never changes. And you, my child, have been made in my image. I love you dearly, unconditionally, and completely. I understand every emotion that you have. I count every tear that you cry. I know every hair on your head. And do you know what?

I even know your weaknesses and your failures and your fears. I know those hidden parts of you that you wish would go away. Those dark corners of your world that you stuff deep down, praying that no one will ever see. I have seen them and they will not change my love for you. Nothing will. I love your heart and I desire all of it.

I just wanted to remind you today of how beautiful you are and how precious you are to Me.

With immeasurable love,

-Your Heavenly Father

good (e)vening

let me just tell you how cute my grandpa was

while he and my grandma were dating

she was in school, in provo

and he was working, in tracy california

and he would drive twelve hours

(each way) to see her

every weekend

go ahead and tell me that's not love

anyways

when my grandma got home from shopping today

she came in the house and goes,

"paaaaaaige! i have something for yoooouuuu!"

would you like to know what that something was?

it was mail

for me

my david mail

that i have been waiting freaking forever for

and it absolutely positively 100% made.my.day.

also

i cannot wait to see this guy tomorrow

to you, from me

dear you,

up until now

i had sworn to myself

that im content with loneliness

because none of it was ever worth the risk

but you are the only exception

baby i just want you to be mine all mine

i wanna be your valentine, your christmas wish, your pickup line

cause youre the one who makes me sing

ill give you all ive got just spare me your time

and i promise you wont want to leave

are you falling for me?

just say you want me too

well, how long can i go on like this

wishing to kiss you

before i rightly explode

all i really want to do is love you

a kind much closer than friends use

i lean against the wind

pretend that i am weightless

and in this moment i am happy

i wish you were here

cause you are the only exception

love, me

p.s. sorry i tend to speak in lyric

dear amy

dearest amy,

please come back into my life

sooner rather than later

i miss your presence

and i have things to tell you

and id like to hear about your life

i cant wait til were reunited

in sexy rexy

our happy place

love, paige

my mothers' mother's mother

so ive been doing all these projects for my grandma. ive got 2 down, i think? but anyways. her mom died like five years ago. grammy. i dont remember ever meeting grammy. but my mom really liked her. apparently she was a letter writer. and she wrote them all on carbon paper. so she has copies of every letter she sent. and guess who gets to sort through them? uh, that would be me.

i wasnt especially looking forward to this. but its been so interesting. i cant read allllll the letters, cause that would take me years. but ive read some of them. and it makes me wish i knew her. theres letters to my mom about when she was planning to get married, letters to my grandma and grandpa... she wrote letters to everybody.

i like mail

i like letters especially

the only people who write anymore is missionaries

why?

can we bring back letter writing?

i want my daughter's daughter's daughter to be able to read my letters

i like grammy's letters